Healthy Relationship Tip - Trade Treasure Maps to Rediscover Gold in Your Relationship

I know you're concerned about improving the state of your relationship, but let's talk for a minute about you. When did you last feel loved and cared for? What helps you feel that way? It's harder to take time to nurture yourself when faced with a strained relationship. You can probably rattle off a laundry list of troubles, but can't come up with what makes you feel loved and cared for. Yet isn't feeling loved and cared for what you want in a healthy relationship?

It's what he wants too.

Once upon a time you both loved discovering what pleased the other. You relished any interests you had in common. Where did that go? We won't point fingers or assign blame for why your life turned into a pressure cooker. You want a healthy relationship. Here's a way you can reduce the heat and steam.

Some time when you're not arguing, sit down with your man and each make a list of what makes you feel loved and cared for. If your man is like mine, he'll declare he hates writing stuff down, he knows already, he's not a kid in school. Tell him these are treasure maps for each other, because neither one of you is a mind reader.

If you're like me, you'll have to think hard about what pleases you. Don't limit yourself to what you think he will or won't do for you. Put down whatever brings you joy, even if it includes how a sleeping puppy breathes and twitches. Do you love waking up to the smell of coffee? Put it down. This is you.

Need some examples? Here's what I came up with that makes me feel loved and cared for:
him wrapping his arms around me from behind as I work
him cooking my supper
clean sheets on the bed
being heard
an hour or two on the couch together while I knit, he reads, and sometimes we talk
good movies
encouragement

Now exchange lists. As you study your partner's list, a couple things may surprise you. You may wonder how a Harley-Davidson motorcycle creates a healthy relationship, but keep reading. Does he want a back scrub in the tub? His favorite meal three times a week? One real kiss a day? Maybe you can't cough up a Harley, but make a commitment to do some of those things and see what happens.

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